what constitutes “fair”

30 Jan

i had pretty much put it out of my mind. my bloodwork that is. about two weeks ago i went for an Ovarian Assessment Report (OAR). essentially a test that “establishes the Egg Retrieval Score™, an index value which combines age with blood levels of AMH, inhibin B, FSH, and estradiol, as a useful predictor of egg supply”. all very state of the art and apparently more reliable than the standard estradiol and FSH draw because the results are standardized and not left to some lab technician holding up the vial and making his/her best guesstimate. anyhow i went for the blood draw and figured the result would be back in a few days. when i didn’t get a call i just guessed that we would discuss the results during my nurse visit in a few weeks. no harm no foul. i had other things to think about (like running this marathon in 8 days). before i went to see the RE in november i had no idea there was possibly an issue with my FSH. it had been tested and the RE immediately noticed it in my file and circled it and said do you know what this means? but i had never seen it and it meant nothing to me. it was 11.6. she then drew a line on a graph and said this is where you should be and then pointed to the other side and said but you are somewhere over here but we don’t really know where and then proceeded to ask about how many follicles i usually had for my IUI’s. so this test was ordered to get a more comprehensive picture. fast forward to wednesday night. i was reading a blog and a woman mentioned getting her blood results back. she was a bit disconcerted about her FSH. and it made me wonder. thursday at work i was overwhelmed with last minute tasks and requests and trying to get everything set before i head to the east coast for a business trip and then straight to the west coast to run. so i called and asked for the results. the nurse said it might not be back yet but she would check and call me back. when she didn’t call back i figured the Dr. would be calling me back. and she did. friday afternoon while i was in a meeting and left a message. FSH of 13.7. AMH of 1.14. overall result of “fair”. apparently the OAR comes with some fancy charts and graphs so a copy is in the mail. not that i will be here for a week to see it but it will be awaiting me on my return. and if M is so moved she can try to decipher it all before then.

all of this leads to the question of what constitutes “fair”? the report says nothing about my chances of getting pregnant just my chances of producing a lot of eggs. and that’s not looking so hot. so what is the problem with that if it only takes one to get pregnant right? hmm. the eggs have to be retrieved. and they have to be mature. and then they have to be fertilized. and then they have to divide. and continue to divide. and become little embryos ready for transfer. the more eggs the better the possibilities. we have one shot at this. i am not really a gambler. nor is M. i am the type of person who plans my spontaneity. the RE seemed unphased. of course this is her job. it is what she does. she said this doesn’t really change anything. of course i didn’t actually speak to her either. i need to see the report. though i don’t know if it really alters any of my thinking all that much. i can’t say i am thrilled. i was holding on to a little bit of hope that this first test was high and was inflated a bit by all the stress of the failed IUI’s and the rounds and rounds of injectables. but this one was after 9 months of nothing so it is what it is. and as for what is fair i don’t think much about IF is fair for anyone but hopefully for us this is just a minor stumbling block.

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