O(ther) P(eople’s) B(abies)

17 Mar

last night one of my friends had a baby. her first. today she emailed the picture out. and as i looked at it a tear slid down my cheek. at work. i partially blame the birth control pills (seriously i do not like those things). and the circumstances of the past few days. (thievery. talking to insurance companies. no running. etc) but part of it is just envy. i remember the day she told me she was pregnant while we sat in a CLE at work. i already had guessed. and i tried not to cry then too. and then i went home and ran 7 miles. but that was different. it was shortly after my continuous failed attempts. and my barrage of injectable hormones. and feeling like i would never get another shot at getting pregnany. so now it has all come full circle. and i am genuinely happy for her. if a bit envious. got pregnant when they decided to – as she said “all my friends are having babies now”. had a great pregnancy – one sick day. her daughter is adorable. i can’t begrudge others their fertility. even though sometimes i want to.

and i know that fertility – in and of itself – is not always enough. i have another very dear friend who has been pregnant twice in the past nine months and both have sadly ended in miscarriages. she has always been one of the strongest and most admirable women i know. and now she stands beside me -asking how things are going and always willing to lend a hand if needed. one of the first people to meet hook. and one of the only people who really knows what is going on with everything as it happens. i hope beyond hope that she and her dh will have their dream babies this next time. they are the type of people that are parents without even having children if that even makes sense. and none of this is meant to discredit anyone who has children (heck we have a phenomenal kid!) or anyone who is pregnant currently. but sometimes you just have to wonder why the chips fall where they do…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: