little dots

25 Jan

i’ve started quite a few posts. but they always get interrupted by a very cute (and demanding) hungry or wet or crying baby. or two. and well they take priority. or i decide i don’t really think i should say something. or i just lose track of what i am doing. so here are a few highlights.

  • last week i met with a lactation consultant. incredible experience. probably the best health care related experience i have ever had. not that much has changed regarding my supply. still kinda low. or my nipple pain. still kinda high. but i felt like someone cared. and listened. and actually heard me. and was legitimately interested in helping me and my babies. she offered some suggestions on positions to feed the wigglers in. the most interesting one to me is called biological nurturing. essentially you let the baby lay across your body and instinctively move up to begin nursing. it was pretty powerful to watch my babies – with very little assistance – show me what was most comfortable and natural for themselves. offered up the idea of cosleeping with the wigglers at least for a while so we can all get some sleep. this is not something i would have considered previously but we were feeling pretty desperate. (we have since tried this and for the most part it is working out rather well – 4 hours of sleep trumps 2 hours). she also suggested getting more assistance to do everyday things. or to watch babies while i nap. or to cook food for us. all great suggestions. all rather difficult to actually achieve with no family in the area. i don’t even know who to ask for what at this point in time. but still i left feeling validated. like i am doing my best. and i am not failing my babies. and eventually it will all come together (possibly with the help of an rx to assist with my milk supply). since my appt she has called and texted multiple times to see how things are going. it is an empowering experience to feel recognized and cared about by a health care professional.
  • my babies are growing! magoo is already up to 8 lbs 2 oz and cindy lou weighed in at a whooping 7 lbs. i was a bit sad when magoo stopped fitting into newborn clothes at just over a month old. not because i don’t want them to thrive and be healthy but because it all happens too fast. anxiously waiting their first real smiles. and giggles. and all other attendant fun. i could not be more in love with them. even when they are screaming at 3am after eating an hour earlier.
  • yesterday i had my six week post partum appointment – a few days early but who is counting. all is well. i am seven pounds away from my prepregnancy weight though i don’t look like it. think belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly. i can run. or dance. or do whatever. and come back in a year for my annual appointment. it was strange to walk out of the office and know that i don’t have to go back anytime soon. and when i do my babies will be a year old. pregnancy with twins requires so many appointments. and so much oversight. and it gets to be comforting. there is a constant check in point for you and your babies. and now it is over. not bad of course. i don’t want to think about how i could still be going there monthly hoping and praying that this time an IUI worked or the follicles were on the correct side or any other IF related things. but all the same it feels strange to be losing a structured consistent check point in my life. i do realize this makes me sound ridiculous.
  • i am in the process of realigning my expectations. i was clearly delusional about so many things before the wigglers were born. more on this later. but suffice it to say twins are hard. breastfeeding is hard. my stomach looks like a war zone. and the possibility of running in the short term seems, well, impossible. more on this later…

6 Responses to “little dots”

  1. Bionic Baby Mama 6 TueUTC2011-01-25T17:44:23+00:00UTC01bUTCTue, 25 Jan 2011 17:44:23 +0000 2009 at 5:44 PM #

    running? you’re taking care of twins on scarcely any sleep and you’re talking about running?

    sheesh, woman. i just organized (read: put in drawer) our freakin’ dishtowels and then passed out for two and a half hours. and that’s with the bean on the inside.

    i hadn’t thought about it, but i think i will be the same about missing the OB’s office when the time comes.

  2. c storm 6 TueUTC2011-01-25T17:50:11+00:00UTC01bUTCTue, 25 Jan 2011 17:50:11 +0000 2009 at 5:50 PM #

    I’m a lurker but I’m coming out of lurking to say I think you’re amazing and that you’re doing a wonderful job.

  3. Defining Family 6 WedUTC2011-01-26T09:42:54+00:00UTC01bUTCWed, 26 Jan 2011 09:42:54 +0000 2009 at 9:42 AM #

    Been thinking about you all lots lately. So glad to hear the LC was a great experience and that you’re getting the support you need now. And more sleep sounds perfect – would love to hear how the co-sleeping is working for you all. I agree – you’re doing an amazing job… I think come warmer weather all will seem more manageable. At least that’s what I’m going with. Let me know when I can drop off a casserole (read: mn hot dish) or soup or something else for you all.

  4. Pufferfish 6 WedUTC2011-01-26T13:11:40+00:00UTC01bUTCWed, 26 Jan 2011 13:11:40 +0000 2009 at 1:11 PM #

    I can’t believe you are even thinking about running! I love the “clearly delusional”. I understand that well….
    Overall, it sounds like things are going well and getting better all the time. Co-sleeping did not work for us, bed’s too small, babies to small to latch in that position and me too paranoid that I’d suffocate them. So…yeah, not for us. But, if it gets you more sleep, go for it!
    Sorry to hear the supply problems have been so rough, but I know exactly what you are going through. I took domperidone after hearing some horrible stories of Reglan–weight gain, depression and in the end it didn’t help much at all. Hope you find something that works for you–or better yet, don’t have to go that route at all.
    Are you taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle? These, plus drinking a ton of water and eating steel cut oatmeal every morning REALLY help my supply.
    Good luck!

  5. Cindyhoo2 6 ThuUTC2011-02-03T06:58:01+00:00UTC02bUTCThu, 03 Feb 2011 06:58:01 +0000 2009 at 6:58 AM #

    Ah, those early days are HARD! I had to lol at “clearly delusional”. Yep, I have done things I never anticipated all in the interest of sleep. It really does get easier.

  6. Nicole 6 ThuUTC2011-02-03T10:27:45+00:00UTC02bUTCThu, 03 Feb 2011 10:27:45 +0000 2009 at 10:27 AM #

    I just came across your blog and wanted to say hi and congrats on the babies! Sounds like you’re quite the champ 🙂

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