rainbows and unicorns

31 Aug

recently i read this article post: Parenthood got you down?  and it resonated with me. sometimes people will admit that having a baby or, in my case, babies, is difficult. but little is said beyond that. because i think there is that inherent fear that it will seem like you don’t love your children. and that is the last thing i would want anyone to think. i struggled with IF. i felt that emptiness. there is nothing more that i want in this world than my three children. i didn’t enough know i could love anyone this much. let alone three little people. but let’s be realistic. rainbows and unicorns. they aren’t exactly encircling my house. at least not most days. it’s funny when i take a second to reflect on things. because the days come into much clearer focus. and the good rises to the surface like oil on water. and the rest of it drops away. out of sight. but in the midst of it. honestly. most days are hard. i don’t always know what i am doing. i worry that i am not attentive enough. that someone is always getting the short end of the stick. that i haven’t fed the babies enough. or spent enough time with hook. i can get overwhelmed when two babies are crying. and hook is peppering me with questions. i spend a lot of time trying to balance what seem like competing interests. so when i snap at hook. or feel exasperated because i can’t get a baby to stop crying. or can’t manage to get the dishes done. for the third day in a row. i just have to have faith that things are going as they should. that giving my best is good enough. and know that some days the best i can do may not be stellar. so while things may not always be rainbows and unicorns. i like to think that most days are at least only slightly cloudy with some galloping zebras. but some days. or at a minimum some moments. well. they just kinda suck the life out of me.


2 Responses to “rainbows and unicorns”

  1. AnOfferingOfLove 6 WedUTC2011-08-31T12:29:24+00:00UTC08bUTCWed, 31 Aug 2011 12:29:24 +0000 2009 at 12:29 PM #

    that was a comforting article to read; thanks for sharing!

  2. strawberry 6 WedUTC2011-09-07T12:45:17+00:00UTC09bUTCWed, 07 Sep 2011 12:45:17 +0000 2009 at 12:45 PM #

    I’m glad you posted this. I think a lot of people decide not to share the ‘uglier’ moments of parenting. But you’re right- it is hard, hard work. And I only have one 😉 I think if you are trying your best, you love your child(ren) and are meeting your child(ren)’s needs, they’re going to be just fine.

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