the state of the state

18 Sep

m often jokes that I should blog about how awesome she is. and as of yet I have never done so. the truth is i could sing her praises. as a parent she is responsible and dedicated. as a spouse she is supportive. as a mother is loving and fun. as a boss she is even handed and hard working. as my partner she is just that – a partner in our lives. we have been together for fourteen years this fall. fourteen. we often joke that i was just a baby duck when we met. barely 18. running headlong into my future. but once we met I knew. as cheesy as it sounds i just had that feeling that this was it. and so here we are fourteen years. and three kids later. recently many bloggers have been talking about the struggles in their relationships and in more than a few the dissolving of what was. and i have to say how extremely fortunate i feel. even at the risk of sounding cavalier. or somehow jinxing things. our relationship has seemingly never been better. it is almost like we have a renewed appreciation for one another. and we support one another. perhaps more so than we ever have. maybe it is a product of necessity. infant twins tend to be a bit. um. demanding. so we have had to pull together. and close ranks much more than we have in the past. or maybe over time we have just arrived at this place. a good place. a great place. i am not saying things are perfect. they rarely are in any relationship. but we can acknowledge that. and weave it into the fabric of our relationship. and our family life. m works. usually a lot. sometimes too much. she is passionate. and devoted. that is one of the things that drew me to her. the intensity with which she throws herself into things. m loves her kids. our kids. with a ferocity and genuineness that melts my heart. and reminds me of why i love her so.

things weren’t always stellar between us. there were definitely bumps in the road. times when I wasn’t sure how we would weather the next month together let alone years to come. for some time i was miserable in a job. and it had an impact on everything around me.  and ttc struggles did not improve that situation. at times i wasn’t sure how we would manage. or if we should try. but we stuck it out. because there was always something worth fighting for.

having children changed us both. in so very many ways. we don’t get to spend much time together now. at least not without the beckoning. or crying. or clambering of at least one child. we hardly ever go out on “dates” together. most friday nights you will find us on the sofa watching a movie from and talking. saturday m hangs out with the kids while i get up and run for a while. before reconvening for whatever we have slated for the day. sunday mornings we go to the farmers market. all five of us. this is something we started doing seven years ago when m was pregnant with hook. and it is something i look forward to. something that makes me appreciate who we are. and where we live. and the values we are instilling in our children. i wouldn’t trade those moments. it may rarely be quiet. and life could hardly ever be described in our house as peaceful. but we are forging ahead. together. i know that we will continue to have our ups and downs. over time. as we inevitably should. but i also know that no matter what – she will always be home to me.


5 Responses to “the state of the state”

  1. strawberry 6 Mon-05:002011-09-19T12:32:29-05:00-05:0009b-05:00Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:32:29 -0500 2009 at 12:32 PM #

    Love this post!

  2. Jen 6 Mon-05:002011-09-19T13:33:56-05:00-05:0009b-05:00Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:33:56 -0500 2009 at 1:33 PM #

    Love this!

  3. Defining Family 6 Mon-05:002011-09-19T16:13:31-05:00-05:0009b-05:00Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:13:31 -0500 2009 at 4:13 PM #


  4. tbean 6 Tue-05:002011-09-20T15:39:34-05:00-05:0009b-05:00Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:39:34 -0500 2009 at 3:39 PM #

    Great to read–we feel much the same way!

  5. bionicbrooklynite 6 Wed-05:002011-09-21T09:21:30-05:00-05:0009b-05:00Wed, 21 Sep 2011 09:21:30 -0500 2009 at 9:21 AM #

    this is lovely. and, i feel very blessed to say, it is also familiar. (i feel maybe i should also write a “our relationship is actually in great shape” post to counteract any chilling effect the recent run of “problem” posts might have on the ttc crowd….)

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