enough?

14 Dec

i am beginning to fret a bit as we approach the one year mark for the wigglers. have i taken enough pictures? written enough down? stored enough deep in the recesses of my mind that i will be able to think back on these days and smile. or cry. or laugh. or grimace. and the truth is i am sure i have not. even now inside of that first year mark so much of it seems jumbled. the first few days i remember with a remarkable clarity. while most of them anyway. except for that whole postpartum hemorrhaging thing. but after that the months get jumbled. the milestones stack on top of one another. who did what first and when has become jumbled in my head. and yes i have taken pictures. and i have written some things down. and i have done what i could do. tumultuous. the single word that probably best describes the past year. from the days leading up to the wigglers birth until now. i didn’t think i would be fixating on all of this. reliving it. and feeling everything so vividly. but i am. and i think that is okay. a year ago my babies were kicking around happily in my tummy. i was huge and uncomfortable. i thought perhaps my water had broken a bit. so we headed to the hospital brimming with anticipation. only to be sent home. on bedrest. at 4.5cm dilated. with pre-eclampsia. for an induction two days later. alas. i will never mistake my water breaking again. and it all worked out. but those feelings are all still there. so close to the surface. today i rolled around on the floor with my babies. cindy lou has a habit of banging her head on everything. and rubbing it against me. and i love it. she flits around carefree and smiley. magoo likes to be held. but only until he decides to run frantically in whatever direction you would prefer he didn’t. i may not remember it all. but i am relatively sure that enough is trapped in my mind. and my heart. to help me pass the days.

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2 Responses to “enough?”

  1. AnOfferingOfLove 6 ThuUTC2011-12-15T09:22:41+00:00UTC12bUTCThu, 15 Dec 2011 09:22:41 +0000 2009 at 9:22 AM #

    i have those same worries, i feel like i’ve been so bad at recording all the little milestones for our twins. i tried my best though…

  2. strawberry 6 ThuUTC2011-12-15T10:58:23+00:00UTC12bUTCThu, 15 Dec 2011 10:58:23 +0000 2009 at 10:58 AM #

    It all goes so quickly that I don’t think it’s ever “enough” 🙂

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