Archive | June, 2012

it’s a hood life

26 Jun

yup. we live in the hood. sometimes a lovely place to be. very diverse. cultured. lots of unique shops. restaurants. people to talk to. learn things from. for the most part everyone looks out for one another. but not always. i may have mentioned before but my car windows have been smashed. hmm… 5 times i believe. all while being parked behind my house. only once was something taken. hook’s bike has been stolen. off our porch in our gated in yard. and gated in porch. twice. and those honestly are the minor things. today a five year old was shot and killed. while sleeping on the couch. inside his house. by a stray bullet. in a drive-by. not outside. he was five. and asleep. this comes exactly six months after another child. age 3. was shot and killed in his house. as he and his brother were running upstairs inside their house. to get away from gun fire they heard outside. children. someones babies. and it is too much for me. it should be too much for anyone. the wigglers love to stand on the couch. in front of a large window at the front of our house. how do i tell them no this isn’t safe? and why should it not be safe? they are inside. on the couch. looking at trees. and cars. and the garden. kids playing on the sidewalk. hook wants to go play in the backyard with his friends. he is seven. this is what kids do right. and i am anxious to let him out the door. for fear of flying bullets. or people on the prowl. or drugs. or anything. maybe i am too paranoid. violence happens everywhere. i know that. i get that. we could be living in the countryside and a rouge tractor could roll over a kid. or they could fall in a silo. or a ditch. or whatever. i get that. but for some reason those are chances i am more likely to want to take. odds that i feel i have a little more control over. i am not really one to pray per se. i think about things. pontificate. wonder. hope. and try to make things happen. but right now i am praying for the family and friends of the little boy who lost his life today. and the one who was struck down six months ago. and all the teenagers who think these are their only options. and for this community. we have wanted out for years. now we need to make it happen. i refuse to raise my kids to live in fear. inside their own homes.

P.ride

24 Jun

so let’s be honest. i am not a huge pride fan. it is crowded and hot. and well – a little weird. maybe i am conservative a little in my “gayness”. i am a woman. i love a woman. we have kids. it’s all good. but m. well she loves it all. the spectacle of it. the parade. the park. walking around being solicited by everyone and their brother or sister to sign a petition of pledge something. you end up covered in stickers. and glitter. and paying $6 for a crappy lemonade. with tickets of course because exchanging money would be too simple. anyhow. this weekend was pride. yay. we knew it was coming. and m wanted to go. and i am along for the ride most of the time. i ran with my crazy dog early. showered. we headed to the farmers market for the best eggs ever. because yes we have chickens but they are too lazy (or young) to produce eggs yet). then off to the festivities. wigglers in their “better shocks and handling” than my car B.OB stoller. and the boy. we walked around a bit. it was quiet. because everyone was gearing up for the parade. so that was a bonus for me. then we headed off to the races. or the parade. trying to push our suv of a stroller through throngs of half naked people. or people sporting tails (what is that about?!) or rubber shirts. or leather thongs. met up with a few friends. and then a few more. and we watched. overall it was alright. perhaps it is my anti-anxiety meds speaking. but i was alright. i immersed myself in my friends and my kids and ignored the rest of it.

it is a big year here in MN – LGBT wise. apparently some bone head saw fit to put it on the ballot that the general public should be ble to vote on whether we should have an amendment BANNING marriage between anyone other than a man and a woman. seriously?! i want to vote on other peoples marriages. and their divorces. idiots. so it was important we were there. to support the cause. so much of the parade. and the park festivities were focused on voting no to this hateful amendment. we supported the cause. embraced our “gayness”. but if someone can explain to me know to explain to our seven year old why there are men parading down the street in leather thongs with whips that would be awesome… not judging, just looking for some input here…

the wigglers took it in stride. a bit fussy at times but when push came to shove – they napped. that works too… hook loved it all. including the mini donuts. candy thrown at him. and free beach balls.

one.five

15 Jun

so tomorrow the wigglers will be 18 months old. one and a half. how the heck did that happen. and how did it take so long. it goes so fast. and so slow. the silly adage “the days are long but the years are short” seems more than apropos. as of late the wigglers have been incredible. amazing. wonderful. and absolutely insane. magoo has taken to throwing himself on the ground quite a bit. and crying when you put him somewhere he doesn’t want to be. cindy lou has her own idiosyncrasies of course. she doesn’t listen. not that she can’t she just doesn’t really care. you tell her to do something and  she ignores you. blatantly. magoo is more of a rule follower. as i have said from the get go. cindy lou looks like me as a baby. and magoo has much more of my personality. not that i throw myself to the ground all that much any more. but i do crave routine. so the fact that we don’t walk hook to the bus every morning now i think is throwing him for a bit of a loop. we go outside and get in the car to take hook to camp. and he freaks. throws his legs out and looks at me like what the heck are you doing crazy lady?! and also repeats bus, bus, us. over and over. i have never met a kid as obsessed with school buses as him. i wish i taped it at some point. but he literally jumps up and down and cheers when the school bus arrives in the morning. definitely a highlight of his day. cindy lou is also a fan but slightly more subdued in her enthusiasm. at least on that point. she on the other hand is in love with the chickens. this year we decided to get chicks (read m and hook really really wanted chicks and i begrudgingly obliged). for the first few weeks (especially in MN) they live in your house. in our house that was in the bath tub. we have two full baths and we never use the tub downstairs. so it was home to the chickens. and every single day. multiple times cindy lou would run in there and stare at them. make noises at them. do the sign for bird to them. she loves them. (but doesn’t really want to touch them). well the chicken coop is nearly complete and the chicks who are now quite large have moved outside. she still runs in the bathroom every morning and looks for them. and every time we go in the backyard she runs over to their enclosure and signs bird. adorable. good thing we are just using them for eggs…

both are also huge fans of the swing. we have one baby swing. should we get another? maybe but really… they will be using real swings soon enough so why bother. we try to get outside every day. and i am attempting. and i do mean attempting. to make some connections with other parents out there. especially parents of twins. not that other parents don’t get it. but running after two kids the same size at the same size is a unique (and amusing experience). let’s just say i have not exactly sworn off the idea of leashes quite yet. this week we hd a “play date” – i will always hate that word. with two year old twin girls and their moms. it was great. and fun. i think all the kids enjoyed themselves and it is crazy to see how much closer they are getting developmentally. i think we first met when the wigglers were about 4 months old so the girls were ten months old. but now that they are a year and a half and two it is fun to see the interactions. and always great to talk to another mom who is fun to be around.

i can’t say i am loving this age. appreciating it. no doubt. it is amazing to watch their little brains develop and learn new things. and have them start to come into their own. but it is also frustrating i think for all of us. they are trying desperately to express themselves. and they sign quite a bit. and babble. but usually i am guessing what they want. and it breaks my heart when i can’t help. or figure it out. i should toughen up. but seriously they can both be so adamanat at times that you are left wondering why can’t i understand you?

hook on the other hand finished out his year of first grade with gusto. he is reading like a champ. he is curious. interested. a good friend. a great big brother. a fantastic helper. and really just a darn good 7 year old. he started some camps this week and will rotate through a few different ones to hit some competing and amusing interests. this week and next are sports camps. then on the art. a little time off. then golf. how to make comics. touring the cities. and the like. he is a good kid to keep busy. and really i’m not all that exciting when i am trying to decipher what a baby shoved in it’s mouth or why the dog is carrying around another one of my socks. again. it’s good for all of us. time away. and time together looking forward to some trips to the zoo. some parks. the museums. and the like. all while working 20 hours a week. having a nanny for ten. and training for two half marathons. busy – yes. happy – absolutely.

so how exactly does this work

12 Jun

when you are a kid you go to school. you play sports. or join clubs. or do things. and you make friends. but then you grow up. and graduate high school. college. grad school. law school. whatever. and a lot of your friends move away. or you move away. and some of the people you meet through work are great. fantastic even. but aside from your jobs there is no overlap. no common bonds. no kids to discuss. or hobbies that are similar. and you find yourself close to 33 and spending most of your time with people under the age of 8. fun, but challenging all the same. so seriously….how do you make friends as an adult? i am not a very good “joiner”. i never have been. i’m actually quite horrible at it. i get insecure and feel like i don’t know what i have to offer. i can be quite introverted. and that introversion often leaves me feeling a little bit alone. and lonely. like i don’t have people around me to talk to. spend time with. confide in. or just be around. there is a local twins club here. that i am a part of. peripherally. i can’t say i have met any of the members. well – not true. two now defunct members that i do see on occasion. and whom i enjoy the company of immensely. but as i said – i’m not really a joiner. i have attempted to reach out to a few people. but schedules don’t connect. or it doesn’t work out for whatever reason. being home with the wigglers is amazing. i love (almost) every minute of it. the screaming and throwing things could make it a bit happier. but it is also isolating. there are many days where i speak to no one besides babies and animals until i retrieve my seven year old. and then hopefully m gets home so we can chat for a bit. it’s a shift. a huge shift. from my “former life”. i had a job where i was in meetings. a lot. i spoke to people. clients. customers. representatives. colleagues. and even if i wasn’t in meeting all day there were always people around. i do have friends here. a few at least. and i know that in a bind i could call on them and they would come through (i hope). but seriously i am wondering how you meet those people that you call just because – for coffee. a drink. a walk. a cookout. with or without your kids. not because you need help. or a babysitter. my closest friends live hundreds if not thousands of miles away. we text. we email. we talk on the phone. and when we are lucky  – we see one another once or twice a year. and i love that i have those connections. that those people are still there as such an integral part of my life. but i guess what i am saying is i am a bit lonely. and i am wondering how to change that. i like to think i am pretty good friend. relatively reliable. my children are generally easy to deal with. and heck – i even have chickens in my backyard. now if that isn’t a selling point i’m not sure what is…